Seemingly endless frustration

I’m frustrated.

Frustrated with myself for…

being frustrated
thinking I can write as good as the best writer
thinking that I’m really not that good
thinking … period
wishing that life could be different
realizing that it can be different, if I make a change
not knowing how to make a change or even where to start
knowing how to make a change and how to start but being scared to death of it

knowing that God is with me and for me and that I can trust Him, but realizing that I must not be fully trusting Him because of how burdened down I seem

thinking
thinking so much that I don’t eat when I need to
being concerned that people who read this will think I’m a terrible writer
being concerned that people who read this will think I actually have something to say
being concerned what others think about me (After all, what difference does it make?)

Frustrated with and yet thankful for those who read my “Real Like the Velveteen Rabbit?” post from yesterday because…

one person commented on the actual post

a couple of people replied via email saying that I don’t need to ask people what to write about (duh, I know that!)

several people replied via text saying…

I follow your blog now; I subscribed
I never knew you wanted to be a writer?!
I knew you had a hidden talent somewhere
I want to go read that again sometime
I wish you the best in your endeavor
I love your picture!

I wasn’t seeking approval! Or, was I? (sigh)  <— Add this to my "frustrated with myself" list (above).

So many clichés about life are true and yet I wish they weren't.  I wish there was a way to 'break the cycle' in a sense.   I don't want to be like the next person.  I don't want to be famous.  I'm tired of taking baby steps like Bob.  I just wish I could express myself and have someone validate me.  And yet, when validation is received, then what?  What do I do with that?  Where do I go from there? What’s really the point of any of this?

Advertisements

Frustrations with Blogger and Open ID

For some reason, I’ve been having problems using my WordPress account to leave comments on Blogger blogs.  And, what’s up with OpenID?!  It’s supposed to make things easier?!  I don’t think so.  Don’t get me wrong.  I have an account with Blogger, but I was hoping to re-direct people to my WordPress blog without them having to go through the hassle of weeding through my blogger profile.  Anyway, I’ve been visiting a few blogs with the OpenID option of leaving a comment, and WordPress is apparently one of the options.  So, why, when I click on “post comment”, does it continually give me “OpenID error” messages?   (It just took me five clicks to get a comment to “take”!!!)

Thanks for listening to my tirade!  🙂  Now back to your regularly-scheduled eclectic blogging…

Oh!  One more thing…  I suppose I may have brought this on myself with my umpteen different blogs.  (blushing)  So, I digress.